


Life of Pyronica (Gravity Falls Parody)

by JennyGirlGaming



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill Cipher - Freeform, Comedy, Fanfiction, Friendship, Gravity Falls - Freeform, Monsters, Mystery, Other, Parody, pyronica - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6768766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyGirlGaming/pseuds/JennyGirlGaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A weird everyday life of Pyronica~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life of Pyronica (Gravity Falls Parody)

"My name is Pyronica. I'm a flamboyant monster that has a smoking hot pink body~ No… seriously… I do. You see, monster like us resign in between both the third and forth dimension. There's no means of escaping this hell hole… Unless, someone from the 3rd dimension breaks the crystal orb. But, good ol' Fordsy as 'Bill' would like to call him; has it and there's no way we or anyone for that matter to break it if it's in his hands…

So, us 'monstrosities' stay here… eternity after eternity, seeking revenge on the 3rd dimension. Here in this dimension, in order for our 'party' to stay eternal…. Bill decided to be our host. But, usually things seem a little more… 'serious'. In all due respect… I believe I'd be the better 'host' of this dimension. Bill said I had one doubt in me…" Blows our smoke from her pink and purple cigar that displays the words ' This Cigar can read my thoughts.'

"But, besides that flaw of mine… I believe I'd be better suited for the job than Bill" Chuckles while flicking ashes upon the ground.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. Bill's PERFECT for the job and all… I mean, I don't like him or anything…" Cigar smoke displays a picture of a smexy looking Bill with a '~ ' displayed next to him. Pyronica gets flustered by it and frantically moves her hand to make the smoke go away.

"Grr… Not to mention, anyone who p*** me off… I just eat them~" Giggles and licks her luscious lips.

"Oh please, you swallow anyone; no matter what mood your feeling!" Bill chimes in and appears with wine in his hand while sitting on a fancy looking chair.

"Oh yeah, Cipher!?" Pyronica gets a bit flustered and eats him.

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry Pyronica! Let me out!" An echo of Bill's voice can be heard within Pyronica's stomach.

Pyronica smiles and pulls him out of her body.

Bill looks disgusted as her saliva is covered upon him. He shakes it off, "This is why you wont make a good leader…" He mumbles out.

"What was that, Cipher?" Pyronica asks while looking over at Bill with a bit of a death glare. Bill looks at her a bit flustered, "Uh… NOTHING! BUY GOLD, BYE!" Bill disappears.

"Tsk… that Bill..." Lights another cigar and puffs out some smoke.

"Well, I think I know why your all here…" Smoke shows the words ' To hear a bit of my life here in between the third and fourth dimension.'

"Well… let's see… We'd usually have big parties and such… But, I think I have a tale of us playing a bit of Poker… But, this tale is no ordinary tale of just ANY poker… No, this is WEIRD POKER!" Smoke shows images of Pyronica and her friends around a table. A weird and indescribable game of poker is displayed out amongst the table. 

Pyronica looks at the cards she is dealt with. She smiled 'Full house', she thought to herself. She gave her friends a suspicious look. They all gave her the same while looking at each other, also.

"Alright, I'm all in!" Bill states as he and the others put in their odd looking pieces in the middle of the table. Pyronica chuckles as she puffed out her smoke and it displayed the cards she was dealt with; all Queens. Everyone looked at her and laughed.

"Good thing I have all Aces am I right guys!?" Bill laughs out while displaying his cards in front of everyone; all aces. 

Everyone continued to laugh at Pyronica. While she grew a bit irritated and flustered at everyone's rude gesture towards her.

"So much for that cigar of yours!" One of the monsters called out at her. 

She got up from the table. Letting out a growl she left the room.

"Geez, what's her deal?" Bill points back at the door she left through. " Let's continue shall we?" Bill and the others continued to play their game of 'Weird Poker', little did they know; within Pyronica's seat there was a bomb that she light with her cigar in place of her.

A few seconds later it blew up… 

Pyronica returns to see everyone upon the ground, black ashes were displayed upon them. She chuckled out lowly, "Seems like you guys are 'Darker' than I thought you were." She joked.

"Well, at least we don't have a cigar that speaks of all our thoughts." A monster rebuttal, while everyone laughs at the remembrance of Pyronica's rather embarrassing gesture. 

Pyronica growls out and gathers everyone, eating them as a whole. She then takes out a tooth pick and rubs it against the cracks in her buck teeth. Echoes of the other monsters pleading for their release could be heard from within her. She just laughs at this fact.

"I told you all before, don't eff with this chick." She crushes her light cigar with the heel of her boots.

"Now, wasn't that just lovely!?" Pyronica chuckles while smashing her cigar with her heel.

"Well, that's all the time I have for this story… See you all in the next one! Ahahahahaha!" Pyronica lighting several explosives with her arms is displayed. The bombs set off fireworks in the sky. The smoke surrounding the area. Once it was cleared out; Pyronica was shout out of a cannon.

THE END. 

Author's Note: Thanks to FreightTrainFrank for suggesting me to make this story! He gave me some details and ideas of how to make this story, so go check out his profile! Pyronica, as you may know; is the pink flaming chick in Gravity Falls. She is one of Bill's female friends if ya know what I mean ;P Anyway, hope you all enjoyed. I'll see you all in the next one! Buh-Bye~


End file.
